By Mark Harvey
Since today is Dec. 8, it is probably not a good day to talk about Medicare Part D and Advantage Plans, because “open enrollment” ended yesterday. So today probably would be better spent clearing the leftover yams and cranberry sauce out of the fridge before they create new life forms.
Also, today, we have better things to think about — I hope.
Still, I’m going to fall back to the theme of this whole column thing and try to offer some “help.”
You know how I’m always going on about scams and hustles and ID theft? The reason is that I believe most of us have better things to do with our money (like pay Part D premiums) than giddily give it away to “bad guys.”
Well, I got one, on email.
Now remember, I work on a state-run network that has several thousand layers of firewalls, filters and Lord-knows-what else; but nonetheless, here it was. And if it got to me through all of that, I can assure you: It could get to you.
Then it occurred to me that a lot of us may have never actually seen one of these scams. So here it is, in its reprehensible entirety:
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WORLD BANK DELEGATION
DEBT RECONCILIATION COMMITTEE
EUROPEAN REGIONAL REPRESENTATIVE
Attn: (Category “A” beneficiary)
APPROVED PAYMENT RELEASE NOTIFICATION OF $15.5 MILLON DOLLARS ONLY.
This is to inform you that a final clearance has been granted to you on your overdue payment by this organization together with the international debt management office London, mandate with immediate effect for the release of your long overdue contract / inheritance / winning payment voucher as a category “A” beneficiary.
To this effect, we have decided to step in to regularize and settle all outstanding payments to every genuine beneficiary and all scammed victims, as we have arranged every payment/ transfer to be made through the NatWest Bank, London.
However, you has been issued with the below exclusive reference number so you’re hereby advised to take note of the payment referrals code below for easy claims whenever you asked to quote your referral code: ABA / WBO / NatWest / 0A11-10, as it is part of the security clearance that has been granted from the European central services depository association (Ecsda).
You are therefore advised to contact the “Credit Manger, Corporate Banking Section NatWest Bank London:
MR. MARK CATTON
Email: wiretransfer-nat.west@w.cn
Direct Telephone: +44-702-4036726
with your banking details quoting the above reference numbers to confirm yourself as the bona fide recipient beneficiary so as to expedite the immediate clearance and release of your funds valued $15.5 Million dollars only into your bank account. Note, you are to forward all the necessary information by following the specimen below:
1) YOUR FULL NAME & ADDRESS:
2) PHONE, FAX AND MOBILE:
3) YOUR BANK’S NAME & ADDRESS:
BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:
ROUTING NUMBER:
SWIFT CODE:
4) PROFESSION, AGE AND MARITAL STATUS:
5) COPY OF YOUR INT’L PASSPORT/DRIVERS LICENSE for IDENTIFICATION:
However, genuine beneficiaries are strictly advised to desist from further correspondence with other offices both local/ international except on the above recommendation, contrary to the above stipulation this honourable office will not be held responsible for any misfortune.
This program is a World Bank initiative in fighting the global financial crises.
Be guided accordingly.
MRS. HELEN WHITE.
Legal Department, World Bank Delegations
Regional Representative U.K.
Note: remember to quote your referral code: ABA / WBO / NatWest / 0A11-10 while contacting the Credit Manger, NatWest Bank London:
MR. MARK CATTON
Email: wiretransfer-nat.west@w.cn
Direct Telephone: +44-702-4036726
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And there you have it. Scary, huh? Looks pretty “official,” huh? But I’ll bet you noticed, as did I, the funny little grammatical errors. And you probably also figured out that if I bit on this thing and sent “them” all the info “they” want in order to get me my missing $15.5 million, they’d own my life before dinner.
So, why do we bite? Because we want to believe in “miracles.” We want to believe that our little lives could suddenly become magical in an instant, so we decide to believe in magic. But we don’t think for a moment that rabbits live in hats, so why would we believe that “MRS. HELEN WHITE” or “MR. MARK CATTON” will suddenly drop a cool $15.5 million in the middle of our leftover mashed potatoes?
Because we want to believe.
So, having seen what one really looks like, do you still want to believe in magic? No? Good.
Now, think about the holiday season we’re in, and then forget about this dark stuff, because today we have better things to think about — I hope.
Mark Harvey is the director of information and assistance for the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He can be reached at harvemb@dshs.wa.gov.
