Remembering victims and celebrating survivors

Stressing importance of empowerment and self-worth while offering assistance

The fourth annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil — held Wednesday at at Zelasco Park in Aberdeen — was a time to remember victims and celebrate survivors.

The Domestic Violence Center of Grays Harbor organized the event to remind people that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and that the entire community can help curb this crime and comfort those affected by it.

“They helped me in 2003 get safe,” said Sheranmarie Bachman, who later went on to become an advocacy-based counselor herself.

She now lives elsewhere, but returns to participate in the local vigil.

On Sept. 16, 2015, there were 1,391 domestic violence survivors in Washington state—793 children and 598 adults— who found refuge in emergency shelters and transitional housing, according to the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

That same year the local center itself served 217 new individuals and helped 172 people who returned to them for service. There were 208 after-hour calls. And they provided emergency shelter to 40 females, 50 children and one man.

Gloria Callaghan, the local center’s director, compiled the information.

One out of four Americans are affected by domestic violence either directly or indirectly. It costs the nation “billions of dollars annually in related costs of medical services, law enforcement, shelters, foster care, sick leave, absenteeism and lost productivity; and is a serious crime that affects people of all races, ages, gender and income levels,” according to resolutions approved in late September by the Aberdeen and Hoquiam city councils.

An unnamed domestic violence survivor wrote in a memory book put out at the vigil: “Never lose hope. There is always something (or) someone who is willing to help. When you feel one door closes, two will open.”

Near the end of the vigil — which included poetry, music and thoughts meant to soothe, uplift and remember those who have been abused — people there were asked to read individual points from the Domestic Violence Victim Bill of Rights:

* I have the right to be me.

* I have the right to put myself first.

* I have the right to be safe.

* I have the right to love and be loved.

* I have the right to be treated with respect.

* I have the right to be human—not perfect.

* I have the right to be angry and protest if I am treated unfairly or abusively by anyone.

* I have the right to my own privacy.

* I have the right to my own opinions, to express them, and to be taken seriously.

* I have the right to earn and control my own money.

* I have the right to ask questions about anything that affects my life.

* I have the right to make decisions that affect me.

* I have the right to grow and change (and that includes changing my mind).

* I have the right to say ‘no.’

* I have the right to make mistakes.

* I have the right to control my own life, and to change it if I am not happy with it.

The public is asked to show support for not only the victims but the victims’ advocates who provide assistance to those mistreated in this way during October as well. Among the candle holders were some such local advocates: people involved with the center and members of the Aberdeen Police Department’s Domestic Abuse Response Team.

Lt. C.J. Chastain, who heads Aberdeen’s DART, wrote in the memory book: “The first step is always the hardest. It takes courage to try. Best wishes.”

If you are in an abusive relationship and need help, telephone (360) 538-0733 or 1-800-818-2194.

Call 9-1-1 if you are in immediate physical danger.

Remembering victims and celebrating survivors
(Terri Harber/The Daily World) Aberdeen Police Officer David Tarrence, pictured in the foreground, is among participants holding candles to commemorate victims and survivors during the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil held Wednesday at Zelasco Park. He is a member of the police department’s Domestic Abuse Response Team.

(Terri Harber/The Daily World) Aberdeen Police Officer David Tarrence, pictured in the foreground, is among participants holding candles to commemorate victims and survivors during the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil held Wednesday at Zelasco Park. He is a member of the police department’s Domestic Abuse Response Team.

(Terri Harber/The Daily World) Aberdeen Police Officer David Tarrence, pictured in the foreground, is among participants holding candles to commemorate victims and survivors during the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil held Wednesday at Zelasco Park. He is a member of the police department’s Domestic Abuse Response Team.

(Terri Harber/The Daily World) Aberdeen Police Officer David Tarrence, pictured in the foreground, is among participants holding candles to commemorate victims and survivors during the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil held Wednesday at Zelasco Park. He is a member of the police department’s Domestic Abuse Response Team.

(Terri Harber/The Daily World) T-shirts hang with identities of domestic violence victims hang in Aberdeen’s Zelasco Park on Wednesday. It was the site of the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil.

(Terri Harber/The Daily World) T-shirts hang with identities of domestic violence victims hang in Aberdeen’s Zelasco Park on Wednesday. It was the site of the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil.

(Terri Harber/The Daily World) T-shirts hang with identities of domestic violence victims hang in Aberdeen’s Zelasco Park on Wednesday. It was the site of the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil.

(Terri Harber/The Daily World) T-shirts hang with identities of domestic violence victims hang in Aberdeen’s Zelasco Park on Wednesday. It was the site of the 4th Annual Domestic Violence Candle Light Vigil.