Making Tracks
By Kat Bryant
Friendship is complicated. For some of us, it really does take a lifetime to master.
I was a socially awkward kid, and I mean that in the extreme sense. We moved often, so I never really got the hang of relationships. I always knew we’d be moving again at some point; so I focused on the here and now, trying way too hard to make new friends in each new place while failing to keep up with those I’d left behind.
This was back in the Dark Ages, mind you, when kids had to actually hand-write letters to stay in touch with faraway friends. So, through a fatal combination of youthful naivete and sheer laziness, I lost track of a lot of people who mattered to me in those early years.
From my 20s through my 40s, with a bit more stability in my living arrangements, I got a lot better at the social thing. I made lifelong friends in Arizona and the San Francisco Bay Area — and I made solid efforts to stay in touch when I moved away, even if it was just through Facebook.
I have been burned a few times as a direct result of my openness and my giving nature. (My mother always liked to joke that no good deed goes unpunished.) But I have very few regrets in that area. I believe we get back what we put out into the world, and I refuse to be jaded by the occasional ugly experience.
In light of all that’s going on now, I’m trying hard to keep this philosophy going.
As we enter this period of “social distancing,” it seems to me that friendships are more important than ever before — even those we’ve cultivated solely through Facebook or other social media.
Yes, we need to maintain physical distance for the time being. But to keep everyone both safe and sane while we’re all hunkered down, we should remember to stay in touch in other ways:
• Check in regularly with your friends who may be at high risk. If there’s anything you know you can do to help them (picking up groceries, doing yardwork, etc.) do it — keeping a safe distance to protect them, of course.
• Contact at least one friend each day, just to chat. You could either call them or send a note via instant message, text or email. It will brighten both of your days.
• FaceTime, Skype and other programs allow you to chat with folks face to face (onscreen). Get acquainted with them if you aren’t already.
• You can play all kinds of games together online, and I’m not talking about the kind that requires expensive software and/or hardware. Just one example: My cousins, who are scattered across the country, are playing Cards Against Humanity regularly using Zoom (a videoconferencing tool) and Pretend You’re Xyzzy (a free gaming website). Google any card or board game you enjoy playing, and I’ll bet you can find a free site that suits your needs.
Got other ideas for staying in touch? Please share. We could all use creative ideas right about now.
Above all: Keep your sense of humor. For many of us, smiles are the best medicine.
Be safe and be well, my friends. See you online!
Kat Bryant is lifestyle editor of The Daily World and editor of Washington Coast Magazine. She’d love to find a good online cribbage opponent. Reach her at kbryant@thedailyworld.com or through Facebook.
