By Mark Harvey

The other day a friend of mine lost her dad. It wasn’t “unexpected,” but as most of us know, there’s a limit to how “ready” you can ever be for something like that.

My friend is one of a number of siblings, but she’s been the “local” and the “caregiver” — and, like most of us, wouldn’t have had it any other way. So it goes. I’m sorry.

As noted, her dad’s death wasn’t unexpected — yet, he left no will. I don’t know why. Often, people don’t make wills because (a) they don’t think they need one because they aren’t “rich”; (b) they just didn’t know they needed one; (c) they didn’t know how to “do” one; (d) they thought it would be too expensive to get one “done”; or (e) they couldn’t or wouldn’t face the inevitability of their own mortality, so just sort of ignored it — figuring (I guess) that if they didn’t call attention to themselves, Death wouldn’t notice them, and move on.

I can absolutely assure you that (e) almost never works, and I have no idea which one or more of the above applied to my friend’s father, so I’m going to let the gentleman rest in peace and move on to the real point, which is: Make a will.

From the beginning: A will is a legal document that says who gets what, and how much, of your stuff, money and property when you move on to a better place, but not until then. It can also do other things like name a guardian for minor children, create a “trust” and a “trustee” and name an “executor,” that being the lucky devil who gets to deal with divvying up your stuff, money and property.

You do not need to be “rich,” or even “well off,” to need one a will. If you have any money or any property or any stuff that you want to have go “here,” as opposed to “there,” you need one. Do you know what happens if you cash in without a will? We have laws that call the shots, so here’s what will happen: If there is a surviving spouse (or state-registered domestic partner), they’ll get all of the “community property” (what you had together) plus some of the “separate” property” (what you kept to yourself), with the rest divided up among children and or parents.

No surviving spouse or registered domestic partner? Then, everything goes to your living kids, divided equally; the surviving parents; then equally among surviving brothers and sisters, and maybe their kids and all kinds of other relatives, and it all gets very complicated.

No “family” at all? It all goes to the state of Washington.

Now, if all of that is just swell with you, or you don’t particularly like your kids or whoever else will have to hassle with your stuff, then I guess you should proceed with doing nothing. But if that’s not the case, then make a will.

Should you consult an attorney? In my opinion, yes. These things can get more complicated than you might think, and attorneys know the right questions to ask you so that what actually happens will be what you wanted. Besides, you can often get a “package deal” with a will, a durable power of attorney, a community property agreement and an advance directive — and it’s not usually as pricey as you might think. If all else fails, are there resources that might help you get this done? Maybe.

Do you have to consult an attorney? No. For a will to be legal in Washington, it has to written, dated and signed. You (the one making the will) have to be at least 18 and legally competent. It has to be witnessed by at least two legally competent adults (one of whom could be a notary public, if you’re smart), and neither of them should be beneficiaries, nor do they need to know what the will says. No witnesses, no valid will — period.

That’s it. Not the best approach, perhaps, but it beats the heck out of nothing. A will made in another state, according to that state’s requirements, is valid here; again, not the best, but it’s something.

So, once you’ve done a will, how long will it last? Basically, as long as you do — or, until you change it. Can you change it? Sure, anytime — and since our lives have an annoying habit of changing, it’d be smart to yank it out and look it over every now and again to make sure it still sounds like your current life.

Yes, you can get will “kits” and “forms” — are they legal here? If you do what I said above, yes. Are they the best option? No, because very few of us have lives that conform nicely to “kits” — but, again, it’s way out in front of nothing.

Do yourselves and the people you purport to love a favor and take care of this, OK? There is no such thing as “after the fact” — you either cared enough, or you didn’t.

And Death doesn’t care — one way or the other.

Mark Harvey is the director of information and assistance for the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He can be reached by email at harvemb@dshs.wa.gov; by phone at 360-532-0520 in Aberdeen, 360-942-2177 in Raymond, or 360-642-3634; or through Facebook at Olympic Area Agency on Aging-Information &Assistance.