Girlfriend wonders when it’s time to mention her implants

I have been in a relationship with a very special man who is five years younger

Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship with a very special man who is five years younger. We met on an online dating site and have been seeing each other for several years. We are well suited for each other and very much in love. We have now decided to live together, with the possibility of marriage if it won’t jeopardize our retirement incomes.

My dilemma is I have breast implants. I had the surgery 20 years ago when I was newly widowed and about to start dating again. I never told any of the men I dated, and I don’t believe anyone suspected. My breasts look and feel natural and they have enhanced my love life tremendously.

Now that this relationship is serious, I wonder if I need to tell my guy. If he leaves after I tell him, then I guess he wasn’t The One. I’d prefer not to say anything. I’ve had the implants so long, I feel they are part of me, not something foreign in my body. I am afraid he may have an altered opinion of my body after I tell him. Please advise.

Old, But Not Dead

Dear O.B.N.D.: If you really believe he’d leave you after several years together because you told him you have breast implants, then he REALLY isn’t the man for you. I think you should level with him, because if one of the implants should need an “adjustment” or replacement, he will find out then and may resent the fact that you hadn’t told him. If you two are happy together — and it appears you are — I seriously doubt it will create a wedge between you. Telling him would be better than feeling guilty that you didn’t.

Dear Abby: I was at a sold-out performance recently, seated next to a family with two young daughters. The youngest daughter had on LED light-up shoes that would flash and blink whenever she stomped her feet.

She quietly watched the first half of the show, but got restless during the second half and began stomping her feet to watch the lights, which was extremely distracting in the dark venue. I gently asked if she would please stop and thanked her when she obliged, just as I would have done if she were my own daughter.

A few minutes later, the family got up and left. On the way out, her father said to me, “About my daughter’s shoes? She’s (expletive) 4!” in a tone that suggested I should have kept quiet and let her continue doing it. Was I wrong to ask her to stop? The show began at 9:15 p.m. and, while not inappropriate, wasn’t geared toward entertaining kids. I’m not surprised she got bored, but her light-up shoes were ruining my experience, and her parents were doing nothing about it. How could I have handled the situation better?


In the East

Dear Distracted: You did nothing wrong. You couldn’t have handled the situation better than you did. The child’s father was out of line for using vulgarity, which was uncalled for. Rather than leave the performance, all the parents had to do was keep reinforcing the idea of being considerate to the other audience members — a lesson that would serve their daughter well in the future.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.