By Jim Daly

On a recent commercial on television for a veteran’s charity, a veteran with a missing leg and a missing arm says: “The military doesn’t prepare you for injury.’ His wife then said: “They prepare you for him to come home, or not to come home. Not for this.” The veteran said: “When I got wounded, she got wounded too.”

This is so true, I can’t stop crying.

I have been blessed with a woman, my wife, who has been able to accept and deal with that fact. While most of my wounds are not readily apparent, they none-the-less have been devastating.

I don’t mean that I wish I were dead, or that I have not been able to be a productive member of society. I mean that they changed me dramatically.

When I was a kid, I was calm, quiet, inhibited, and withdrawn. I had only one or two real friends. I joined the Marine Corps as soon as I could after high school, because I struggled in school and at home. 19 months later I was in Viet Nam, after a Special Courts Martial where the charges of “destruction of Government Property” were dismissed. I had admitted that I was guilty, but there were extenuating circumstances that exonerated me.

In Viet Nam I was wounded when I was blown off a plane and landed on my head. But you can’t see that injury, it is only broken vertebrae. I also had to do some things that really messed with my head, and that is where the worst wounds were suffered.

I was changed. I am constantly agitated. I was constantly angry. I was no longer quiet or introverted. I yelled a lot. Still do. I was not withdrawn. I had experienced a lot, and liked to talk about it. One might even say I was, or am, cocky. I still have only a few real friends.

I still struggle with relationships, but, I am able to function well enough in the world to survive.

I had a 22-year career in the Marine Corps. I worked for Computer Sciences Corporation in New Jersey for three years. I worked for C3I Systems Group in New Jersey for eight years. I worked for the U.S. Department of Labor in San Francisco for three years. I worked for Safe Harbor in Elma for three years. I worked for the Grays Harbor Community Foundation for 10 ½ years. I now work part-time as a Veteran Service Officer in Aberdeen to help all veterans get their benefits.

I am a member of Calvary Lutheran Church. I am a member of a couple of hobby clubs. I have two good adult children. And I have a beautiful, supportive wife of almost 48 years. She learned over the years how to deal with me and my wounds. She has learned to give me what I need when I need it, whether that be a swift kick in the butt, a long strong hug, or lots of space. She was not trained by the military to do these things at the right time, she figured it out on her own.

I can tell you that without the support of my wife, these other friends, and a few professionals, I don’t know where I would be today.

I wish that all veterans had this type of support. Unfortunately, not all do. And they suffer more than I have.

I wish we (in the military and their dependents) had all been well prepared for all the possibilities, including wounds and injuries. Back in my day the impact of wounds and injuries on veterans was not well understood. I believe that today it is much better, but every system or program can be improved.

That is why I hope, and I believe that the military and the Department of Veterans Affairs are working to provide the training and support to change the situation where some veterans and their families come to a time when they say: “When I got wounded, she got wounded, too.” I hope that instead, they can say that they were prepared for anything.

Please Remember: Many of our young men and women have sacrificed greatly around the world, to protect our country, our rights and freedoms, our allies, and the Flag of the United States of America. I am proud to have been one of them, and would gladly defend this great country again today or any day.

Jim Daly, a retired captain in the U.S. Marine Corps, is a member of the Aberdeen Veterans of Foreign Wars, Post 224 and its Veterans Service Officer. He is also a member of the Vietnam Veterans of America.