Editor’s note: Karen Harris Tully is a writer who lives in Raymond and has agreed to keep a journal to share with Daily World readers during the odd and uncertain time we’re all navigating.
Dear Journal:
My dad and I talked yesterday, debated, agreed and disagreed, and tried to stop short of an actual argument. This is what we do. We talked about personality types, that we’re both introverts, both creative. He was an architect, and now paints prolifically in his retirement. We both have a tendency to be cynical, and to use statistics to prove a point, but only stats from reliable sources. The problem is, I don’t think we agree on what the reliable sources are right now. And this is where it gets hard.
We talked about the protests and race relations. And after our talk, I fact checked my dad. I emailed him population stats from the US Census, and the only government stats I could find on police-involved deaths by race, from the NIH, National Institutes of Health. Yes, I felt like a jerk fact-checking my dad, but also like it had to be done. I hope he’ll email me his sources, so we can compare.
While I may be confident in my stats, and he in his, Dad is definitely more of an expert on protests that turn into riots. He was in D.C. in the late ’60s, leading a military unit in trying to keep the peace. They were trained for war, supposed to go to Vietnam, but instead were sent to police American civilians in the U.S. capital. He collected the bullets from his unit and locked them up, because he said they weren’t going to shoot Americans. I have huge respect for that, and what he has to say about it. I hope he knows that.
Why are these conversations so hard, even between family, maybe especially between family? Dad said something about personality types that rang true for me. As an introvert, he tends to sit back and listen on topics where he’s not an expert. I do the same. Neither of us is an expert on race here, and both of us hate looking stupid (but that’s probably everyone). Add being non-confrontational, not wanting to argue and create lasting hard feelings, and it gets even more difficult. But I still feel like it was a conversation we needed to have. I hope that lots of American families are finding ways to have these hard conversations right now.
Song of the day: For What It’s Worth, Buffalo Springfield
Karen Harris Tully is a novelist living in Raymond with her husband and two small children. She writes sci-fi/fantasy for teens and adults and can be found at www.karenharristully.com.
