Dear Abby: My son-in-law gave me a tablet that he was not using, as he had upgraded. He removed most of his information. When I went to set up my accounts, I noticed his list of apps and passwords was still present and saw four accounts to an adult dating site.
My daughter and SIL have been together/married for four years. The tablet is less than 2 years old. I don’t know what to do: (1) act like I never saw it, (2) tell him what I found and hope for a good explanation, or (3) tell my daughter. This will destroy her. Please help!
Sign Me Devastated
Dear Devastated: Tell your son-in-law what you found and ask for an explanation. What he tells you will determine what steps you should take next.
Dear Abby: My husband and my best friend, “Bridget,” do not get along. They remain civil most of the time, but one thing is threatening to ruin the peace.
When Bridget visits, she likes to bring along little toys and treats for my cats. That’s fine, but she also opens bags of loose catnip and sprinkles it throughout the house. My husband hates it because the catnip gets everywhere, and it’s a chore to clean up. When he politely asked Bridget to stop, she told him to “stuff it” and said the cats like it.
She continues to do it every time she comes over, and my husband has grown more and more upset. I’m not sure how to mediate this. What can I do?
Cat-astrophe in Atlanta
Dear Cat-astrophe: At this point, Bridget isn’t bringing the catnip over because she thinks your cats like it. She’s doing it to antagonize your husband. If you continue allowing her to do this, it could affect your relationship with your husband, so if you’re smart, you will back him up and tell her to cut it out. (Meow!)
Dear Abby: I’m a medical student who has been battling depression over the past few months. I didn’t do well on a recent very important exam, and I’ve sunk even deeper into my depression.
I have tried reaching out to fellow classmates about it, but they tell me to just suck it up or assume I want attention. I tried talking to my family, but ever since the loss of a beloved pet, my parents are having a difficult time emotionally, and I don’t want to trouble them even further.
I feel trapped and lonely and there’s only so much more I can take of putting on a mask every day to pretend I’m happy. I’m not sure where to go from here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Lonely and Depressed in Chicago
Dear Lonely: Putting on a mask isn’t the solution. The problem with depression is that, like any other untreated illness, it can grow worse. Because your depression began before that exam, I’m recommending you consult one of the psychiatrists at the medical school for guidance. Please don’t wait to do it. You should also tell your parents, pet death or no pet death, because they need to know as well.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.