By Mark Harvey
Today is what I consider to be a bonus round, because you folks did all the hard work for me! So, just a quick collection of stuff that came my way in the last week or so that’s worth sharing — for one reason or another.
Slick Idea Department: Mom lost Dad 10 years ago, is now 80 or so and is descending into Alzheimer’s, or something that looks a lot like it. She needs help, does not want to live with either daughter, but isn’t coping real well, as one might reasonably expect.
Solution: Daughters went in together and bought a new, one-bedroom RV, which they move between their respective cities of residence every five months. Mom’s immediate environment doesn’t change (which can be a huge source of stress for anyone with dementia or memory loss); she is able to maintain a reasonable degree of independence; daughters and families provide a couple of good meals each day; she’s involved in all the family activities, “going along for the ride,” or whatever; and someone is home all the time. Slick!
And why every five months? Well, everybody gets a break (smart!) and everybody doesn’t have to do the same things at the same time each year. I love it!
Wait a Minute Department: Mom is home alone, is 96 and suffers from numerous unfriendly conditions, including visual impairment. Daughter is looking into assisted living facilities, as well as some other things. Predictably, Mom is less than thrilled and neighbors say “you can be sued for ‘elder abuse’!” OK, wait a minute.
It is absolutely true that nobody can “put” anybody anyplace that they don’t want to be; I’m the one that goes on about that all the time. But not being happy about having to move somewhere is a very different thing from being forced to go against your will.
Look: If you were Mom, and you were facing having to move out of your home and into a strange place because you needed “help,” would you be thrilled? “Oh sure, Betsy, just let me grab my toothbrush!” I don’t think so. Would you be sad? Scared? Remembering all the wonderful things and people and spirits that occupy that home? Of course, and so would I. But that’s a very different thing from being hog-tied to a handcart and rolled into Alcatraz.
And if someone feels a strong need to “report” it, they’d be reporting it to Adult Protective Services, who might come and talk to Mom — good! So be it. What they will likely find is sadness, fear and resignation. But they will probably also find courage, determination and strength. Mom didn’t get to be 96 because she’s a wimp.
Elder abuse does happen, and we all need to pay attention. Believe me, if I think I even catch a whiff of it, I’ll blow your cover so quick it’ll scare you! But honest human emotion in the face of life on Earth isn’t abuse; it’s life. And for me, I’ll bet on Mom.
Once More, With Feeling Department: No, it isn’t a stupid question, so here’s the answer: Medicare does not pay for “long-term care,” meaning long-term nursing home care — it never has. It will pay for rehab in a skilled nursing facility for up to 100 days following a three-day hospitalization, which takes us into the whole “admission” vs. “observation” thing, which is more than we want to take on here, and there are some more complex circumstances under which Medicare will pay partial costs beyond 100 days.
So what? So, if you have Medicare, you do not have long-term care insurance, nor do you have a long-term care “plan” — you just have Medicare. So, if you’re walking around thinking “I’ve got Medicare — I’m cool!” Well, you may be, but you are not “covered.”
Ready Or Not, Here I Come Department: “I’m moving to Washington and I want to keep my same health insurance.” That’s nice, and the answer, of course, depends upon what insurance you have.
Medicare is federal, so Parts A and B, follow you around. But Medicare “supplement” plans (“MediGaps”) can vary from place to place, as can Part D and Part C plans (“Advantage Plans”). So, having this-or-that there doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be able to have this-or-that here — get it?
Further, having insurance does not mean you automatically have health care providers everywhere; so what you don’t want to do is move, unpack, settle in and then raise your head up and wonder about insurance or a doctor or a VA provider. You might want to do a little homework before you pack the philodendron.
Am I trying to discourage you from moving here? No! I’m trying to discourage you from stepping into … well, an unpleasant surprise.
I Don’t Need a Will Department: Well, OK, if you own absolutely nothing and feel just fine about leaving your family to sort out the mess, or you would prefer that the “state” decide what goes where, then do nothing. You are not required to have a will. Unfortunately, we are also not required to exhibit a modicum of common sense.
Are You Done Yet Department: Yes.
Mark Harvey is the director of information and assistance for the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He can be reached by email at harvemb@dshs.wa.gov; by phone at 360-532-0520 in Aberdeen, 360-942-2177 in Raymond, or 360-642-3634; or through Facebook at Olympic Area Agency on Aging-Information & Assistance.
