Dear Abby: My husband loves to dance, and so do I. In fact, we met dancing many years ago. He takes Zumba classes despite his knee problems. I loved Zumba but stopped because it hurt my knees.
Many times women have come up to him — oblivious of my presence — to tell him how good he is. This has happened on cruises and just now in a restaurant. I love that he’s a good dancer. But I don’t like random women telling him so. It feels like they are flirting. Yes, I am jealous because he is my husband. Are my feelings normal?
Jealous in the East
Dear Jealous: As long as your husband acts appropriately in accepting the compliments, you may be overreacting. Instead of feeling jealousy, why are you not feeling a twinge of pride in his accomplishment?
Your feelings are normal — for someone who is insecure. If you accept that you can’t stop people from complimenting your husband, and that giving him a verbal gold star isn’t necessarily flirting, you will both be better off.
Dear Abby: My husband and I are in our late 40s and raised three very successful sons. We had always wanted to adopt but were not able to until our boys were grown. Everyone has been supportive except my husband’s parents.
Our daughter, whom we brought home 3 1/2 years ago, is now 7. Anyone who knows her adores her. She embraces family and has a beautiful relationship with her big brothers and their families.
My in-laws have other grandchildren whom they shower with affection. Our daughter, not so much. She doesn’t seem to mind, so I know I shouldn’t let it bother me. However, I want our in-laws to be fair with her. I know I can’t make it so outside our immediate family circle. Am I being unrealistic?
Perplexed in the Midwest
Dear Perplexed: I think so. While you can’t change your in-laws’ behavior, you CAN make sure your daughter knows she is much loved by her parents, uncles, aunts and cousins.
Dear Abby: My fiance and I are being married next month in a private ceremony. We’re having a small family/closest friends barbecue reception the following weekend. We do not want any uninvited guests, but we also don’t want to come across as rude. What’s your suggestion for polite wording on invitations asking that there be no “extra” guests brought to our reception? Our budget is very tight.
Not a Bridezilla
Dear Not a Bridezilla: Put nothing like that in writing. There is a rule of etiquette that only guests whose names are on the invitations should attend the event. If you feel your prospective guests are ignorant of the social graces, CALL them and explain: “We would love you to celebrate with us, but because our budget is limited, we are unable to entertain uninvited guests. We hope you understand.”
To My Readers: I wish you all a very Happy Easter.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.