Dear Abby: I recently started seeing a self-made entrepreneur. He’s intelligent, and basically the most amazing man I have ever been with.
Because of his position and stature, many beautiful and sophisticated women throw themselves at him. A friend of his told me that in the months that I’ve known him, he has had sex with at least five other women, several on the first date.
I’m not angry about it since we never formally agreed to be exclusive, but I’m in love with him and want him all to myself. When I confronted him, he said that because he never had success with women previously, he is prone to seduction. He said they didn’t mean anything to him and that he wants to be with me.
I have dropped the matter for now, but I’m still concerned. I have tried to step up my game in the bedroom, and I’m willing to do anything to stop him from looking elsewhere. How do I make him give up his harem?
Willing to Do Anything
Dear Willing to Do Anything: I wish you had more clearly defined what “prone to seduction” means. Was he saying that because years ago he had little success with women he is enjoying the attention?
While you may be willing to “do anything” to have him all to yourself, if this man craves variety and is trying to make up for lost time, there’s nothing you can do to dissuade him. The two of you appear to be at very different places in your lives. If you want a man who is willing to have an exclusive relationship, you’re going to have to look elsewhere.
Dear Abby: I was just offered a HUGE promotion at my company. It will mean more than a 40 percent increase in pay, which is unheard of in my company, which has more than 10,000 employees. People in my department are not taking it well. Even my director did not congratulate me.
Taking on this new endeavor kind of scares me. I have had a tough year in my current position, and this new job is seriously tailored to me. My current manager — who is new to the department — feels this job was meant for me. She says I need a fresh start, and she has faith in me.
What’s awkward is, the position involves working with some of the same people I worked with previously, although in a different capacity. Am I taking on too much? I know the team I will be working with, and I have a feeling I will love it. I’m just scared of setting myself up for failure. My boss and new manager are giving me a great opportunity, and I don’t want to let anyone down.
In the Midwest
Dear Unsure: If your boss and new manager didn’t feel you were capable of taking on the new assignment, they could have offered the job to the numerous other people at the company. Your former director may not have congratulated you because he/she was jealous, so do not take the silence to heart.
As to your fear that you won’t succeed, all you can do is give it your best and keep moving forward. If you do that, you won’t let anybody down — including yourself.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.