Dear Abby: I have a problem with one player in our weekly golf group. He hasn’t been vaccinated and won’t wear a mask. Our group is mostly older players who all share golf carts. Everyone in the group has been vaccinated except this one person.
As the group coordinator, I prearrange the foursomes every week. Several of the players have informed me they do not want to share a cart with the unvaccinated person. In some cases, they have paid additional cart costs in order to avoid riding with him. As you can imagine, it becomes a problem for me trying to put the groups together each week. How should I handle this?
Sportsman in Arizona
Dear Sportsman: Poll the entire group about how they feel about riding with an unvaccinated person. If the majority of the players are uncomfortable sharing a cart with him, tell him he will have to reserve his own cart and ride solo if he wishes to continue participating in the group. If this seems harsh, perhaps those members who don’t mind riding with him — if there are enough of them — would agree to ride with him permanently. You won’t know unless you ask.
Dear Abby: My husband of 42 years wanted to move to the Northwest. We initially fell in love with it and lived there for four years. I found work, made friends and enjoyed myself immensely. My husband kept traveling back to Southern California for work, and decided he no longer wanted to live up north. I protested, but he didn’t want to hear it, so we moved back down again.
Now, after the pandemic year and having lived in our home less than two years, he wants to move back to the Northwest because “it’s too hot, too crowded, etc., here.” I gave him my opinion, and a huge fight ensued. I never wanted to move back south, but he was belligerently insistent. I’m not sure what to think anymore. Any advice?
North vs. South
Dear N. vs. S.: Your husband appears to rule the roost. Moving is challenging, particularly if you’re stuck with the responsibility of packing up your household. Frankly, I am more concerned about the fact that he’s unwilling to listen to your concerns than about the inconvenience, but after all these years, I’m not sure that’s fixable.
On the plus side, you stated that you “loved” living in the Northwest, found work you enjoyed and made friends. If you return to the area in which you were living, you may be able to renew those relationships, so concentrate on the positive. If your husband flip-flops again, you can then decide whether to live separately in the location of your choice.
To My Readers: The eight days of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah begin at sundown. (Very EARLY this year!) Happy Hanukkah, everyone! A joyous Festival of Lights to all of us.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.