“I’m back, baby, I’m back!” — George Costanza, from “Seinfeld — The Mango.”

I knew one of these days I would return to writing columns for The Daily World on a somewhat regular basis.

I just needed the inspiration to finally attack the keyboard, and I found that last week.

Now let me get this right out in the open. I am neither Republican nor Democrat. I held my nose hard when I voted in the last “presidential election” and — based on our choices — I use that term lightly.

But I grew up in a Republican household. My father, Paul Haerle, was quite the mover and shaker in the California GOP for many years. I’ve met three presidents – Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan, though Reagan was governor of California at the time and I was just a lad, my dad serving in Reagan’s gubernatorial cabinet for a couple of years in the late 1960s.

What I see in today’s political landscape is not my father’s GOP, to say the least. For that matter, the last meaningful political discussion I had with my 85-year-old father — he’s now battling Alzheimer’s — was in November. He said to me, “Dave, I’ve never voted for a Democrat in my life, and I just did.”

But that’s all getting a little bit heavy for all of us, and I simply wanted to put it out there that I really have no dog in the political fight going on in our nation right now, just trying to be a bemused — and amused — observer.

So I was scanning the wire services the other day — part of my job here at The DW — and I was reading about the recent exploits Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, Ivanka, et al., when it dawned on me.

I’ve seen this act before!

The year was 1978. I had just completed my freshman year at UC Santa Barbara and was back in the Bay Area during summer break. I was at a movie theater in Berkeley watching “Animal House.”

That’s right, the White House has become the Omega Theta Pi House.

So, I am recasting possibly one of the greatest film comedies of all time – or at least part of it. (If you haven’t seen the movie, well, first off, you have zero excuse, and what follows here will likely lose you.)

In the roles of Omega House president Greg Marmalard and girlfriend Mandy Pepperidge are Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump. Just look at the pictures. I nailed this one. And I am willing to bet that Ivanka uses rubber gloves, too, if you get my gist.

In the role of frat rat Doug Neidermeyer is Donald Trump Jr. (a member of the Phi Gamma Delta frat in real life). Can’t you just hear Steve Bannon (as Dean Wormer!) turning to Kushner and saying, “Put Don Jr. on it. He’s a sneaky little s**t, just like you, right?”

Then there’s Chip Diller. Played in the original by Kevin Bacon, who really is in every movie ever made, I believe. The character name even has the same tone as — yes — Sean Spicer. Unfortunately, this is where the column takes a dark turn. Because now you understand that my mind’s eye has actually gone to a place where Spicer is on all fours in his whitie-tighties, getting paddled by Trump Jr. and repeating the phrase, “Thank you, sir, may I have another!” (Pull that one off, Melissa McCarthy.) And it’s Spicer — like Diller — who during all the chaos is up there in front of the press, screaming, “Remain calm. All is well!” just before being trampled in the ensuing presidential Twitter stampede.

Finally, there’s Babs Jansen, smarmy sorority girl and Mandy’s duplicitous best friend. She’s the ultimate apologist for the Omega House — pretty much the same role Kellyanne Conway plays in the White House. The resemblance is actually pretty uncanny, though I’m pretty sure Conway has never uttered the phrase, “That boy is a P-I-G pig!”

I could go on and on here, casting various liberals in the roles of the over-the-top Delta House and its sympathizers (Bernie Sanders as the pot-smoking liberal arts professor played by Donald Sutherland, for example; The Press as Otter with his anonymous source in that little black bag), but in the interest of fairness and brevity, I’ll leave that up to the Trump supporters out there who actually made their way through my attempt at humor. Email me at dhaerle@thedailyworld.com with your ideas. If I get enough good ones, I’ll publish them in a future piece.

But leave out Kent Dorfman — aka Flounder. That would be me. Because I’m not sure how many times I’ve asked — upon losing mine — “Can I have 10 thousand marbles, please?”

Now, after this makes the rounds, I fully expect to end up on “double-secret probation” — or get audited by the IRS.

David Haerle is the city editor of The Daily World and still watches “Seinfeld” reruns six days a week.