Of Christmas candles and Yule logs

I’ve got a problem. I can’t find my Master Gardener ID badge anywhere. Aside from searching in that “safe place,” I’ve been walking all around my garden. Perhaps it fell off my sweatshirt? I was over near my spruce tree earlier.

I have a piqued interest in conifers this time of year. Conifers are the only plants that decorate themselves with candles. These are newly developing shoots on a pine branch, called “candles” because of their form and brighter color. They light up the tips of the trees. Now that is something that makes sense and is easy to remember. Can this be botany?

Whether we trek out to the tree farm to cut our own tree or go to the lot to pick one out there, chances are that some pruning has taken place on the specimen you are taking home to finish decorating.

Now, don’t misunderstand me: Cutting a tree off a foot from the ground is not considered pruning. My Master Gardener Guru has emerged from behind my perfect spruce tree with a chainsaw in hand. The Guru is wearing an unbelievable winter sweater with English ivy tendrils all over, replete with silver bells and red twinkling lights. I can just make out my ID badge pinned on it.

Blinking my eyes, I try to get back to thinking about conifers. If you are taking care of conifers in your own garden, you may just wish to place dozens of strings of lights over the boughs of one of your upright trees. Whichever way you decorate, you ought not to prune the tree’s central leader, as this will cause multiple new leaders to emerge that can become hazardous and unsightly in time.

If you examine the tree you purchased in the lot, you will notice the central leader is disproportionately long. You will likely need to whack it back, so you can attach that traditional star or angel. My Guru fires up the chainsaw.

Living trees are also nice to consider at this time of year, and it is a good time to plant out a tree. However, we need to remember that conifers can grow very large and do not belong in a home landscape unless they are dwarf specimens. Placement of the right plant in the right place will avoid many pruning problems.

My Guru revs the saw threateningly at my spruce tree. Topping a conifer for size reduction does little good. If a plant needs to be topped for size containment, it is best to remove the tree completely and choose a smaller species to plant in its place. Bonus: Choose a slower-growing or dwarf variety, which — guess what? — will need little to no pruning. Plus, they are easier to light up with Christmas decorations.

The chainsaw motor stops … perhaps we are out of gas?

Remember a thinning cut can always be made. This is pruning back to another branch, not topping the tree. “The size or plant density may also be maintained by annual shearing,” announces my Guru in a falsetto voice, with the red lights on the sweater flashing. “This is usually done by shearing, pinching or pruning shoots as they are growing just before spring growth starts or while the plants are growing.”

My Guru ends by pointing out that cutting the trunk from the bottom of the tree to make it fit into a stand provides a secondary benefit: This becomes a potential Yule log for the fire.

Alas, I have no piece of tree trunk for the fire. But who remembers the giant bloomless Cosmos plant I grew last summer? My Guru’s head nods yes, which makes the silver bells all over the sweater ring loudly. Good news from that escapade of feeding the Cosmos those little nitrogen‑rich blue crystals? Can my fiasco pay off? A Cosmos Yule log?

My Guru’s eyes roll while handing me my Master Gardener badge with a smart salute.

Kim Woodford, WSU Master Gardener Class of 2016, gardens in Westport. To learn more about the WSU Master Gardener Program in Grays Harbor and Pacific Counties, visit PNWMG.org.

Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy The 2010 White House Christmas tree illustrates how the grower has sheared the tree to enhance its symmetry.